Life's a lot better when you can share it with the people you love. Family and friends share our triumphs, help us through tough times, and just help us pass the time. But relationships don't just look after themselves - if we aren't careful we can end up hurting the people around us, or vice versa. In this section you'll find tips for managing your relationships with the people who matter the most.
Making friends
There can be lonely times in life where it seems impossible to find anyone you 'click' with. Maybe there's no one around, or you don't have the chance to meet many new people. Maybe you don't feel that confident about meeting people.
It may help to know that circumstances can change and bring you into contact with different groups of people. For instance, when someone new turns up at school or in your neighbourhood. Or, if you change schools or finish school and start work or uni. You can also make changes and new friends by:
- Trying new things
- Learning new skills
- Joining a club or interest group
Bullying and other problems
You don't have to be friends with everyone. There's no rule that says you have to like everyone, or that everyone's going to like you.
Some people including peers and so-called 'friends' can make your life a misery by:
- Teasing or making hurtful comments
- Deliberately embarrassing or humiliating you
- Bullying and ostracising you
You don't have to put up with it. You'll find more information at the Reach Out! (new window) website.
Helping your friends out
Helping out is part of friendship. Friends can support each other to make their own decisions by listening and being open-minded.
It's hard to stand by when a friend is struggling with a serious issue or problem. If you're wondering what to do and where to turn to about a friend's problem, here are some sites that have some good advice and support for you:
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Helping Out - General Information on Helping out a friend (new window) at the Beyond Blue website
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Eating Disorders - Eating Disorders Foundation of Victoria (new window) for friends with eating disorders
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Mental Health - Itsallright (new window) for friends with mental health issues
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Domestic Violence - Domestic Violence and Incest Resource Centre (new window) for friends suffering from abuse
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Drug Information - Drug Info Clearing House (new window) for friends with drug or alcohol problems
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Gambling Help - The Problem Gambling website (new window) has information on how to deal with a gambling problem
Finding your birth parents
If you were adopted, you may like to know more about your birth or biological mother and father, and maybe even track them down. The Victorian Government's Adoption Family Records Services (new window) has information pamphlets for people who are adopted and for adoptive parents as well. Victorian Adoption Network for Information & Self-Help (VANISH) (new window) offers an information and search service for people. The Reach Out! website also has some useful suggestions on its Making a Decision to Find Your Birth Parents (new window) page.
Sorting stuff out and finding support
Changes in family relationships may involve you being a part of a sole parent family.
Sometimes it helps to work through issues yourself or with someone outside your family before taking action. If you're looking for starting points, take a look at Reach Out! (new window) and Bursting the Bubble (new window).
Mediation is another way to help people to resolve family disputes - it's offered by the Victorian Government's Department of Justice (new window).
If you are a woman in a troubled relationship, WIRE (new window) can give you some useful leads regarding counselling, as well as fact sheets about leaving a relationship and how it can affect women and children.
If your relationship is breaking down, it might be helpful to look at the Legal Aid (new window) information on counselling, de facto relationships, mediation and spousal maintenance.
If you have to leave your family home
Sometimes family issues, particularly those involving abuse or violence (new window), mean that you have to leave your family, home or partner and start a new life elsewhere.
Coping with your emotions, getting money together and finding somewhere to live all at the same time can be really hard. If you need to talk to someone, phone Lifeline on 131 114 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.
If you are under 18, find out the legal issues involved in leaving home at Victoria Legal Aid (new window).
If you're looking for information, emergency accommodation or court support, the Department of Human Services Family Services Division (new window) offers a range of help, advice and services if you are experiencing family issues or domestic violence.
Links
Department of Justice - Disputes
Describes family disputes and what can be done including mediation services. It also covers family law matters, and who else can help.
Victoria Legal Aid
Explains the legal issues involved in leaving home if you're under 18 including frequently asked questions, legislation, contacts and links. It also provides information and answers to frequently asked questions about domestic violence - what it is, legal issues, myths and facts and where to go for help.
The Source - Relationships
Information about families and relationships.
Women's Information Resource Network
Includes fact sheets about domestic assault and links to organisations that work to prevent violence against women and children. You can contact the Women's Domestic Violence Crisis Service Victoria 24-hour Crisis Line on (03) 9373 0123 or freecall if you live in regional Victoria on 1800 015 188.
Reach Out!
Up-front articles on relationships, including friendships, resolving an argument or disagreement, coping with peer pressure and more.
The Source - Relationships
Links to information on relationships, youth abuse in relationships and a site focused on friendship.
