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Balancing Life and Babies

Guest reporter Felicity shares her experiences as a young mother and offers advice on balancing babies with everything else in life.

For more information about pregnancy and having a baby, check out the Better Health Channel's Teenage Pregnancy page (new window) and Pregnancy and Birth section (new window). For more advice on parenting, check out Better Health Channel's Parenting section (new window).

Finding out you are pregnant is life-changing. Planned or unplanned, it’s mighty scary being a mother no matter what age. Being 19 and a mother myself, I would like to share with you some helpful hints on how to deal with the days and nights, and how to balance things like housework, your career and your social life.

My pregnancy was unplanned and we found out halfway through. This meant I had 20 weeks to sort out my life before another life was placed in my hands.

Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself

A mother's days blend into one another, what with all the midnight feedings, nappy change after nappy change, and outfit change after outfit change.

No-one expects you to be perfect at it straight away, though (and really - who is perfect?). There have been many times when I’ve had to be woken by someone else because I have fallen into a deep sleep somewhere that's not really designed for sleep.

As a new mother, the concept I struggled with most was letting the little things go. So what if your child has a little bit of vomit on their outfit? Chances are there's going to be a lot more where that came from.

It's important to remember that when your baby cries, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong - that’s just how they communicate.

In the first few weeks you need to give yourself a break and a fair go, but mostly a pat on the back. You’re new at this and when you think about it so is your baby. If you make a mistake, learn from it, and if you need help ask for it.

Ask For Help When You Need It

In the first few weeks after my baby was born I found that my local council's maternity nurses were a huge help. When you check out of the hospital with your new baby they will organise appointments with these nurses. Remember that no question is a silly question to them - chances are they’ve heard them all before anyway.

If you find yourself with a question about parenting, or need some advice there is a 24-hour Maternal Child and Health Hotline staffed by fully qualified nurses who are there to help you. Just give them a call on 13 22 29.

There’s also a Nurse on Call helpline that can help out with child issues for children of all ages. You can call them on 1300 606 024.

If you're breast feeding and find yourself struggling with it (it's not as easy as it looks!) there is a hotline run by the Breastfeeding Association to talk to you through your breastfeeding problems - they're on 1800 686 268.

Balancing Babies and Housework

It's important to get into a housework routine. Baby clothes, bibs and bottles and teats (if you're bottle-feeding) get dirty quite quickly. You'll also find your own wardrobe running short, with vomit-covered clothing a common occurrence.

What I find helps me when my housework seems too large of a task is to set myself a room to clean each day. For example I clean the loungeroom on Monday, the baby’s room on Tuesday, etc.

In the real world the washing only gets done when you have time. There are always variables you can't control, like the weather. Doing a load of washing whenever you can, and making sure that you always have some of your own clothes and some baby clothes will help. Then you can be sure that you're both not going to run out.

Balancing Babies and Work

Going back to work can be one of the hardest choices for a new mother, but when it came to providing the best for my child, I chose to return to casual work. It really depends on your situation, though - you might decide to return to full-time or part-time work instead. Remember that it's your decision and no one else can make it for you.

Returning to work really depends on how you feel after your pregnancy, how well your baby sleeps at night, how busy your days are and whether you feel like you can balance your baby, your job and the housework.

If you decide that you will go back to work, the next step is finding a safe place for your child to be while you are at work. This could be at home with your partner, your family or your partner’s family. You might also rely on your partner, your friends, childcare centres or playgroups.

Whoever you end up leaving your baby with, here's a helpful hint: pack their bag the night before - chances of a smooth morning running to plan are rare.

Balancing Babies and Study

Because I didn’t already have enough on my plate, I recently chose to do a distance education university course. My course allows students to take up to ten years to complete it, so I can do as little or as much in a week as I feel suits the week I’m having.

Don’t be scared to try taking on something like distance education. If you try it and you find you don't have the time, you can always postpone it until you feel more ready and capable.

Balancing Babies and Your Social Life

Social life doesn’t have to always be about parties, grog and the opposite sex. Sometimes it's just nice to veg out and talk - you can still do that with a baby.

Sometimes you just need someone who can actually talk back to you during the day, too. It's important to make time to go out for coffee dates, take a trip to the park and even - if and when you feel ready - treat yourself to a night out. It doesn’t have to be all night - just go to a movie and give yourself some time away from mothering duties.

Going out for tea, lunches or afternoon teas, as well as visiting friends can all be done with your child in tow, so don’t lock yourself away. Your friends will want to see your baby so that they can see how much they’ve grown and have a cuddle. All you need for this kind of excursion is a well-stocked nappy bag and you’re on your way.

No Regrets

This all may seem scary now but when you hear this beautiful life that’s inside you crying for the first time it’s a feeling of love you’ll never forget, regret and you will just know what to do.

I wish you all the best of luck and joy that my child has brought to myself and my partner.

For more information about pregnancy and having a baby, check out the Better Health Channel's Teenage Pregnancy page (new window) and Pregnancy and Birth section (new window). For more advice on parenting, check out Better Health Channel's Parenting section (new window).

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